Warning to Diablo Cody: I’ve worked with executives from Universal, and they love fucking in the ass. They don’t warm up in the pussy either, they go straight to the ass.

Diablo, I know you’re one of those “intellectual” girls who became a stripper to garner life expierence, as opposed to true financial need, use an enema and wear a butt plug before you sign on the dotted line. You need your ass stretched out.

Universal is set to acquire the rights to 152-book series Sweet Valley High for Academy Award winning screenwriter and former stripper screenwriter Diablo Cody. Skittle my frying pan turd biscuit, the kids from the fictional San Fernando suburb of Sweet Valley are set to explode on the screen with annoying hipster jargon! Diablo is a former stripper, so let’s hope she works some high school girl on girl action into her adapation.

It could be brilliant, it could be terrible. Asses get fucked in Silver Lake where Diablo currently lives, but not as hard as they do on the other side of the Cahuenga Pass pass. Whatever the outcome, some unsuspecting young girl is going to get fucked in the ass hard in Studio City.

It’s not like british boarding school

click here to read more on Diablo Cody’s adaptation of Sweet Valley High

“The eye altering, alters all”,-William Blake

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